


Your Song

by soniagiris



Series: the slivers of life [12]
Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, No Dialogue, POV Second Person, Relationship Study, Wordcount: 100-1.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-11 12:53:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13524672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soniagiris/pseuds/soniagiris
Summary: Togami and love never fit together, but maybe-maybe-





	Your Song

**Author's Note:**

> beta by misty @mistropolis, thank you <3  
> no additional warnings apply!

When you see him for the first time, you don't really pay attention to him, to this short boy with messy hair and an ordinary face. Another plebeian, you think, then direct your eyes to headmaster and keep watching school's opening ceremony.

Later you see him in class, when he introduces himself. Makoto Naegi, he says with a shy smile and writes his name in kanji on the blackboard. The chalk suddenly snaps into two pieces, and he laughs faintly. There I am, the Luckster, isn't this just self-explanatory. You watch him and calculate. He's tiny, so small and harmless, but you think you see something in his eyes, in his straight back and thin line of lips, and you suddenly decide to observe him. You have this feeling, illogical and instinctive, that Naegi could be either a threat or a useful tool.

You don't socialize with your new classmates, preferring to stay in the library and gather informations, wondering how this school managed to get them. You don’t reach out to this Naegi boy, no, he reaches to you, he appears one day in the room and asks, what are you reading? You carefully construct your answers, dip them in sarcasm and coldness, make them bite, hit right in exposed weaknesses, expecting Naegi’s face to crumple, his shoulders to slunch and small fists to clench- but he keeps on smiling, and you hate hate hate this smile, so common and plain and yet so fascinating, and you hate this weird hint of fascination.

You try to dismantle this feeling into pieces, so you would be able to name it properly. You seem harsh and unemotional, but you can recognize how someone defeated, curious, broken or triumphant looks - but, when you see your face in the mirror, you’re not able to know what you’re feeling. You put your hand on your chest and focus on the heartbeat, slow, steady rhythm of pulsating congeries of cells, veins and blood, nothing more. You chuckle bitterly at the thought this interest may be something more than faint imitation of desire to understand this boy, how he can even behave so ridiculously and be so free, careless and naive. Nothing more, you repeat, then shrug on your jacket and leave the dormitory area.

Wrong. He talks to you again, during the free time, and again, again, again, he keeps on trying to understand you. Pathetic, you scowl at him, so pathetic of you, Naegi. He smiles and says, is that so. So you construct labyrinths around you, brick walls, and he doesn't waver, he's still there, and one day he confesses, I like you, Togami-kun. And leaves. And you- start to laugh. Like. He likes you. And you go to your room and cry quietly. Who would have thought you'd be liked? Who would have thought you'd want that? And you decide to get some benefits from it. And you kiss Makoto Naegi in the quietness of library.

It's a weird relationship, gossiped about. One day Kirigiri screams at you, you fucker, you fucker, how dare you be with him, you're going to hurt him, you're just using him, you took him away from me. One day, Ikusaba sends you a vicious glare. One day, Maizono sighs softly, I was too late, oh well. And you keep on kissing Makoto Naegi like he's your property. He's a tool, an useful tool, you use him to learn how to feel, how to kiss, how to show love. One day, you realise you've learned how to love. And that's bad, that's not what you wanted, no no no, and you break up with him. He smiles at you with teary eyes, and says, it's okay. It's not okay, you think. It's so not okay.

But then Kirigiri and Ikusaba and Maizono step in and say, you dumbass, you hurt him, we knew it would be like that. Then Kirigiri adds, but he loves you, you know. You nod. You know. You love him. It's awful. It's terrible. Kirigiri tosses her hair out of her face, huffs and notes, well, we need to fix this. You scowl, why, what is the point, you don't want that. Kirigiri smiles sadly and whispers, you poor boy.

And the next day Makoto is in your room, and you-

You tell him everything.

I love you, you say, and I don't want it, love is a weakness, I can't love, you'll get hurt again, I don't want this.

Makoto smiles, kisses you and whispers into your mouth, but I do, I believe in you.

And then you're crying, he's crying too, it's so pathetic, so very pathetic, but-

But who cares.

He loves you. You love him. That's the most important thing. The foundation. And you slowly recreate yourself.

 

**Author's Note:**

> a/n
> 
>   * **comment/kudo if you read/liked!!!!**
>   * another old fic pulled out from the depths of my gdrive. second to last, i think.
>   * one time, i could talk for ages about how much character development potential togami got. he's a very interesting character, one that probably went through a lot of shit, and it's really paining me.
>   * fun fact: i despise the naezono/naekusaba part with my entire heart. ikuzono all the way. but i don't feel like removing them. also i'm sorry for ooc kirigiri, but i really like the idea of her having an unrequited crush on naegi.
>   * hmu at twitter/tumblr if you wanna talk c:
> 



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